Too Damn Early

So... Today our landlord came by. His name is Rick. He's really nice- his niece went to my law school...he likes our cats...he takes care of his elderly father...good people.

At around 4:30 he rang the doorbell. He just wanted to make sure that our move went well. At 4:30 p.m....in the afternoon....A very civilized time for most people. Except for me.

To me 4:30 is like...well...really early.

So early that I'm still in my pajamas early. What? is that wrong? It's Sunday for gods sake!

I'm sure there is a rule in the Bible or something about how....how it's okay to sit in your pajamas all day. It's in the Book of Deuteronomy or something..."thou shalt sit in thy goddamn pajamas drinking coffaaay all day long if thou wants to"... or some shit like that.

So, that was embarrassing-- trying to explain why I was still in my nightgown in the late afternoon. I should have acted like... like...me wearing a nightgown at 4:30 p.m. was unusual or something. Even though...nowanddays...that's just what I wear all the time.

"Oh! I am so sorry...all my jeans were consumed in a fire."

Or: "Sorry, but we haven't unpacked any clothing other than this box of nightgowns,"

Or: "Oh dear! ...My religion dictates that I only wear these negligees and blue fuzzy slippers."

But thinking back, I should have been more prepared for this. Just the other day I had a similar problem with unexpected visitors...of the Jehovah's Witness variety.

Damn Jehovah's Witnesses... They rang the doorbell Friday morning. At around 11:00 a.m.... in the morning!

Goddamn doorbell.

So. I got out of bed. Opened the door. And there sat two old ladies with pamphlets in their hands... Just standing there looking at me. Waiting to tell me about their "good news" and crap.

At like 11:00 in the morning!!

They took one look at me and looked away, blushing....and the older lady said: "OH MY GOD!! We woke you up... WE ARE SOOOO SORRY!!"

Well I just thought...you should be sorry motherfucker. It's like...11:00 in the morning and shit. Then it dawned... wait a minute...these are goddamned Jehovah's witnesses. They don't give a crap what time it is. Why the hell are they so sorry and embarrassed ???

I then looked down and realized that my nightgown was completely exposing both my nipples.

At least I was more careful when my landlord came by. And the Jehova's witnesses haven't been back...so it was totally worth it.